Watch What You Say

I was listening to Mornings with Brant this morning on the way in to work, and Brant, one of the three hosts (and obviously the person the show is named after), was talking about how he has difficulty remembering things that he has on his schedule. Two phrases he used really stood out at me while I was listening. He said that when he has an important event on his schedule, he always tells himself over and over, “Don’t forget this. Don’t forget this,” but he inevitably forgets. On a slightly different topic a few minutes later he stated that he takes anti-depressants because if he doesn’t, then every time he makes a mistake or feels like he’s made a mistake, a recording plays in his head that says, “You’re a failure”. He explained that by taking the medicine, he is able to stop and say, “I’m not a failure”. So, the two phrases he used that really stuck out were 1.) don’t forget and 2.) I’m not a failure. These statements are phrased in the negative, using the word “not”. The problem with this is that the human brain only recognizes positives. This means that if you tell yourself “Don’t forget this”, your brain only hears the positives and so it hears “Forget this”. Likewise, if you tell yourself “I’m not a failure”, your brain hears “I’m a failure”. Most people are not aware of this aspect of the human brain and, therefore, use ineffective language when speaking to themselves. It’s best to use positive language when speaking to yourself. So, instead of “Don’t forget this”, you should say “Remember this”, and instead of “I’m not a failure”, you should say “I’m a success”. It takes a while to get used to this form of self-speak, but it does make a difference.